LOVE YOU FOREVER

In the fall of 2009 we found out that we were expecting a BABY BOY! We waited until I was past the first trimester before we told the kids and then we announced our exciting news on our Christmas card that year! The kids were so excited and had to keep it a secret for a few days until people started to receive our cards.

On the morning of December 22nd we had our level 3 ultrasound where we would be seeing my OB/GYN (who is also a family friend…might sound weird, I know, but he was THE BEST!) and we would have the ultrasound that would reveal the gender. It was also 3 days before Christmas and we were preparing to host Christmas Eve at our house. The morning of my appointment we had planned to bring the kids with us to find out the gender and see an ultrasound, but right before leaving we decided to leave them with my mom so we could to the appointment and then run errands on the way home and get our last minute Christmas items.

We arrived to our appointment and were called back for our ultrasound right away, which is always so exciting! I laid on the table and the tech started the procedure and taking measurements. I’ve been through this a few times before, so I knew what to expect. I kept asking, “can you tell if it’s a boy or a girl?”. After a few minutes I couldn’t tell if the baby wasn’t moving or if she was moving the sonogram too quickly. I eventually asked her and she excused herself from the room saying that she would be right back. I got a little nervous, but nothing crazy. A few minutes later our doctor walked in and I knew instantly. I will never forget that moment, the heartache or the pain. I had a c-section with Ellie so I was anticipating this again, but he told me that I would need to be admitted to the hospital right away to induce labor for delivery. He gave Mike and I a few minutes in his office privately where we called our parents and one of my best friends. I was then taken to a procedure room in the office where our doctor started labor. We knew we had a little time, so we went home to tell our kids the devastating news. A moment I will never forget and I’m sure they won’t either. We packed their clothes and took them back to my moms and headed to the hospital.

We arrived to the hospital for induction of our stillborn baby. We still weren’t sure of the gender or if the baby was “normal” or perhaps had some healthy issues that had caused him to pass away. I was greeted by the sweetest nurse that I will never forget. I kept apologizing to her. I felt so bad that she had to be around me/us under these circumstances. Most labor and delivery nursed get to bring the greatest joy in the world to families and I felt guilty that she was having to endure this. Our doctor was there every step of the way. He had the anesthesiologist there and they started an epidural right away. I wasn’t in pain yet, but under the circumstances, my doctor didn’t want me to have to feel the physical pain from delivery. Then they started my induction with an IV medication called Misopristol which is stronger than than the usual Pitocin that is given to women that helps start labor. After that it was a waiting game which left me lots of time to think!

I would ask my doctor and nurses multiple questions about what to expect. I had told my doctor that I was absolutely sure I didn’t want to see or meet our baby. I was too scared. Eventually as time went on and meds kicked in, I started to contemplate this decision and was worried I might regret it. I called another dear friend who was also a labor and delivery nurse. We talked for a bit and I expressed my fears. She understood, but in the sweetest way she encouraged me to meet my baby. Another moment I will never forget. I told my doctor that I had changed my mind, but that I would only want to see the baby if there weren’t any complications that might leave me more heartbroken or scarred. He agreed.

Just after 4a on the morning of December 23, 2009 we met our perfect little BABY BOY! As he arrived, all of the feelings of being scared had vanished and I was overcome with a feeling of peace. I knew that this baby was meant to be part of our family! We were able to keep him with us for several hours. The nurses took pictures, they made prints for us of his teeny tiny little hands and feet. They doted on him as if he were a full term healthy baby boy! That evening I knew that I had to do something that felt near impossible…leave the hospital empty handed. And, we did. We left our sweet Baby Jack behind, but his spirit was always with us.

After we had Baby Jack, we went though thorough testing to make sure that there wasn’t anything genetic before we considered trying again. We met with different specialists who all agreed that losing our baby was a “fluke”…meaning that they couldn’t find anything medically wrong with him, myself or Mike. So, in 2011 after MUCH prayerful consideration we decided to try again. This time, I found out very early that I was expecting. I was considered high-risk because of my previous pregnancy so I was at the doctors weekly, if not more. We found out very early that we were expecting a girl! Again, we were beyond excited and couldn’t wait for our baby girl to arrive. We pushed through all of the milestones and compared everything to our Baby Jack…coincidentally they were both due the same day; May 28th! As we passed the 20 week mark we thought we were in the clear. I even bought a few items for the first time, which, if you’ve been pregnant then you know how hard it is to NOT give in and buy all the cute baby things! At the end of December I had a level 3 ultrasound with our perinatologist. This was a very efficient and time consuming ultrasound that would measure everything on the baby. From her hands and feet to her little organs and heartbeat. I laid on that table just smiling as tears of happiness rolled down my cheeks. I left that appointment and went straight to a little boutique where I bought the cutest little leopard baby girl shoes! Mike bought me a diaper bag that I had been eyeing as a surprise too! We were all over the moon!

On December 31, 2011 I woke up not feeling well. I had a really bad migraine and was nauseated. I started suffering from headaches after delivering Baby Jack so this wasn’t completely unusual. I took medicine and laid around, but things were only getting worse. I made a call to my doctor who told me to head to the hospital and have the labor and delivery nurses check the baby and medicate me. I hung up the phone and told Mike that I would go, but that I didn’t want anyone to know because I didn’t want them to worry. We called our favorite Pam-Cakes, who is a 2nd mom to our kids, to come stay with them. She was the only one who knew.

We arrived at the hospital in the late afternoon and were sent to triage on the labor and delivery floor. I was in a room with several other pregnant women and we were separated by curtains. They immediately ordered an ultrasound to check the baby. A few minutes later, a cute young girl wheeled her portable machine into our tiny little “room”. She turned on the machine and started her procedure, but her screen wasn’t facing me and by law, she wasn’t allowed to show me or tell me until the doctor reviewed it. I had so much anxiety. I kept asking questions and begging her to tell my my baby was ok. After a few minutes, she turned off the machine and started to leave. As she did, she started to cry…she looked right at me and said, “I am so so sorry”. I knew she wasn’t supposed to do this, but I was grateful that the wait was over. I cried like I’ve never cried before. I felt bad knowing that all of the people in the triage room could hear, but I could not control it. To this day I still feel bad for both of these young ultrasound techs and wish I could go back and give them a hug, apologize and tell them that I’m ok!

I was too sick this time to go home and tell the kids. Mike had the daunting task to go home and inform the kids, yet again, about their baby sister. I know it was hard. Hard for Mike and hard for our kids. And, hard for our Pam-Cakes to have the responsibility to keep these sad kids in her care while I was in the hospital. I was immediately admitted to a room in labor and delivery. I was hooked up to an IV and medications were started to get me feeling better. I made a few of those same gut wrenching phone calls that I had made just 2 years before. This time I knew what to expect so I allowed my sister and a few of my best friends to come see me before they started induction. We laughed and cried together. Two of them were pregnant, both with girls! We had been talking for months about how our girls would be the best of friends like we were. Around 11p I was feeling ready and we went ahead and started labor with the same medication as before.

This time there was no question. I had just seen our baby girl on ultrasound and I knew she was perfect and I knew I wanted to meet her. Just after 11:30a on January 1st, we welcomed our sweet Baby Piper to our family! She was perfect! She was quite a bit bigger than Jack, but no deformities or noticeable health issues. I had some issues with delivery so I was rushed to surgery. After that we had some time with her in our room where we were able to name her, hold her and take some pictures. And, again, felt so much peace.

There is no doubt that these babies were meant to be part of our family. We love them so much! I feel sad that my body wasn’t able to provide them what they needed to grow to full term, but I was able to provide them a body and a spirit. I was able to carry them, to give them a perfect body, to give them a sweet spirit, to hold them…and, to LOVE them. I can’t wait for the day we meet again!

Baby Jack was born December 31, 2009 and Baby Piper was born January 1, 2012. Both babies had the same due date of May 28th so this is the day we have chosen to celebrate our babies ! This was our 8th year doing a balloon release and continues to be a most cherished family tradition. We have blue balloons for Jack and pink balloons for Piper. We write notes on them and send them up to heaven! It’s our little way of honoring them and showing our tremendous amount of love for them!

Weaver Family Annual Balloon Release 2020!

LOVE YOU FOREVER, MY SWEET BABY JACK AND BABY PIPER!

LEMON BARS

I love to bake and I have several recipes that I would consider a favorite, but LEMON BARS are by far my most requested treat when invited to anything! They are a family favorite and what I make for Mike for his birthday and Father’s Day! They are the perfect mix of a pastry-like crust, with a sweet and not too sour middle, topped with a yummy glaze!

CRUST:

1 Cup Butter (Most recipes call for UNSALTED, I ALWAYS use SALTED…just preference! And I always use COLD BUTTER!)

2 Cups Flour

1/2 Cup Powdered Sugar

A dash of salt

I cut butter into small pieces and I also like it cold. Dump all ingredients in your mixer until it’s blended well! Pour into a greased 9×13 pan and press down. Bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees!

CENTER:

4 Tbsp. Lemon Juice

1 Grated Lemon Rind

4 Beaten Eggs

2 Cups Sugar

1/4 Cup Flour

Mix all of these together…and pour over baked crust. Bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees!

ICING:

2 Tbsp. Butter

1 Tbsp. Milk

1/2 Cup Powdered Sugar

1 tsp. Lemon Juice

1 tsp. Vanilla

Mix together and then pour over lemon bars. The original recipe recommended waiting for them to cool before frosting, but I prefer glazing them right after. I let them cool on counter for a little bit and then refrigerate. We prefer most treats in our house served cold, but they are good served at room temperature as well! Top with powdered sugar and serve!

SERVE COLD, TOPPED WITH POWDERED SUGAR AND A SIDE OF DIET COKE!

YOU ARE WELCOME IN ADVANCE!

MY CREW

I have to admit that I haven’t really minded quarantine life. In fact, I actually like it! I remember when it all started in March and there was a sense of anxiousness about the idea of not being able to access my usual places… stores, the mall, restaurants, school events, sports, church, and seeing friends! I do miss portions of these things, but have been so impressed with how the “social distancing” has forced us to figure other things out in order to see those we care about! In the grand scheme of it all, I have LOVED having my crew around nearly 100% of the time! Sometimes the days blend together and we have to remember what day it is or who has what class or appointment. But, Sunday’s have still have my heart and continue to be the BEST DAY! We are all a little more relaxed and having an entire uninterrupted day spent at home with JUST US is a dream come true for me! I am soaking it all up! I will continue to document some of these quarantine moments because soon enough we will all be back to our “normal” lives and I don’t want to forget how much we enjoyed this slower pace and quality time! And, because soon enough Mike will be back to the office, the calendar will start to fill up, and the boys will head off to college. Quarantine couldn’t have come at a better time for me and I will cherish every moment!

MOTHER’S DAY GIVEAWAY

Thanks so much to everyone who entered our giveaway! Blake at JP Lettering Co. and I had so much fun putting this together and especially loved hearing so many amazing and funny stories about your mom’s! If you would like to shop any of my favorite items, I’ve listed them below!

  1. My favorite Texas BBQ rub!
  2. A $25 gift card to Madewell!
  3. Jar of my favorite fruit salad (I will link recipe this week)!
  4. Custom print of your choice by Blake at JP Lettering Co. (this will be a digital image)!
  5. My favorite Buxom Lip Balm!
  6. A $25 Gift Card to J Crew!
  7. Leopard print hair tie!
  8. Set of cute and simple stationery!
  9. Madewell gold hoop earrings!
  10. Set of 3 fun bracelets from J Crew!

MOTHER’S DAY: EDITION 3

I’ve put together another list for Mother’s Day! This list is so fun and some of the items are a little bit more sentimental. I could think of a million things to buy your mom, wife, mother-in-law…but there are a few on this list that would be voted MY MOST FAVORITE! If it has to do with photography, prints or the pool/beach…I am a happy mom!

  1. Every mom should have a good camera aside from their phone to document their lives! I’ve had a couple of DSLR cameras over the years and love them! This Canon DSLR has great reviews and is a reasonable price. I know they can be heavy to carry, but there are certain times/events that I wouldn’t dream of not brining it! Our oldest son has gotten into photography over the last couple of years and he has the mirrorless Sony A6000 that he swears by. And, to be honest, I have been extremely impressed with the image quality. With the mirrorless, you will get the quality of the DSLR without the bulk and the weight of a DSLR. There are so many options and the price range is huge. Regardless, make sure your family is well documented…time goes too quickly!
  2. I have this J Crew shirt from a year or two ago and love it so much! It can be worn all the time, but especially fun to wear it on Mother’s Day! It has red hearts and on the bottom right corner is says “mama”. They also make a kids version if you want to match your little one! Such a fun shirt to show your mom your love for her!
  3. A good book (or magazine) is always a winner! I read WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING and loved it and it’s good for any age group as well!
  4. More bracelets! I can’t get enough and constantly adding to my collection. Baublebar has so many fun pieces to choose from, but these custom bracelets are so fun! The options with the letters are endless!
  5. This little book that I found at Target is so cute! It’s called LETTERS TO MY MOM! I’ve been a mom for over 20 years and these are the things I love most!
  6. Mark & Graham has the cutest gifts! I am a sucker for anything personalized or monogrammed and they are the best for these gifts. I love these cute catchall dishes to use on a nightstand, next to a sink or on a dresser! You have FIVE days left to order in time for Mother’s Day!
  7. If you’re like me and ready for the summer beach/pool weather, you will love this pair of sandals from J Crew! The perfect addition to any summer wardrobe!
  8. Headbands are such a fun trend and perfect for cute and easy summer hair! We have these and have loved all of the fun colors!
  9. Blake made this amazing piece of art for me and I love it so much that I convinced him to take orders for Mother’s Day! You can submit an original picture to him…anything you want! He will create an original piece and forward the digital file to you to print wherever is convenient for you. I would highly recommend printing with Persnickety Prints. I would suggest you print this on their premium matte paper and then frame it however you choose! If you have questions or need help, please feel free to contact me or call the customer service team at Persnickety Prints. They are amazing and I have never been happier with print service or quality of an image (especially for the price)! You can contact him or myself here or through Instagram @jp.lettering.co.
  10. I love Clare V. products and this canvas tote is perfect for any mom! The print is darling!
  11. Ok, I’ll admit it…I have a cup addiction and I like certain drinks in certain cups with certain ice. And, Mike and our kids are the same, haha! My favorite cup for years has been this SIC CUP. It holds 30 oz, keeps your drink cold and it doesn’t leave a metallic taste in my mouth like other brands I’ve tried. I finally gave in after hearing about it from all my friends and bought THE MOST TALKED ABOUT STANLY CUP EVER and it is definitely my favorite. I don’t know why I waited so long?!! The only problem is that they have limited quantity and only release as they receive them. They best way to follow them for the release of the Stanley Cup is likely through Instagram @thebuyguide. I would suggest the 30 oz Sic Cup for now and then get the Stanley when it’s available. You can reach out to The Buy Guide here! I love both of these cups and they’d be a great gift…especially if they included a Diet Coke!
  12. Every mom needs a wide brim hat for the pool, beach or even gardening! I have tried several over the years and this J Crew packable straw hat is a favorite!